where is my handphone cable

i was busy studyign chem for damn long today. spent whole day in narnia. then i was v sian for a while. then i decided to film a video for fun. turns out i film three takes...cos there was no preparation, was just instantaneous stuff. then i damn happy..i turn on the computer..then shit. my handphone wire dissappeared. i dun noe where it is. i feel so sian. haha . like i thought it would be a funny stuff but gone. gone . my handphone wire...i really need to buy a new phone also. cos my current phone sucks. study chem whole day. v sian one. it drives me crazy. tonight i spam gp.haah. gp. like the subject im suppose to be ok in, but really after prelims i am damn scared. oh well. if i have to ask my mum where the cable is. hahah.

PS: just study guys. after alevels..with have stay overnight stuff, class chalet(hopefully can work out) outings after otuigns...and maybe we all have surprises...haha. dun noe. but i think there may be a few surprises after alevels. haha. i cant wait to see those surprises. ahah. i love surprises. ok tat was gay. like duh. GAy=HAPPY. yah i am stull qutie happy. its liek i am studyign and smiling. happy studying i call it. i now just need to refill petrol.and make sure my train does not derail...i want to reach the final destination. cos i noe like the golden pot at the end of the rainbow. at the last stop. there will be a surprise for me. ahaha. i love surprises.ok tat was gay.....................................................etc..repeated...

i am so happy

i am so happy today. its like i really realise it all. i never expected it to turn out so well. like i had many weird thoughts what could go wrong. but it all proved to be false. because in the end, i realise that i am very certain that i will make the right decision.

today i studied alot. maths econs. but thats what not made the day great. it was other stuff. i realised that i learnt more about myself. i realised that i will not regret the decision i will make after alevels. i am so sure that i will make the right decision. i found a part in me that really was something i havent felt for a very long time. it really was a brilliant day today. i learnt alot today. more so about myself and about studies.

so all of u out there. let me teach u all a lesson. if u really want something for it. dun hesitate. i hesitated, but lady luck played a part , and i gt a second chance. i am so lucky. i promise i wont make the same mistake again.

the last entry before alevels...well most likely...unllesssssss?

Im sitting in my room, a day after i last saw my friends. it will be the last time i c them before the alevels. thanks u guys. next time whenever i go lido.. i will rmb the long hours we spent there. we really spent so much time there. and thanks for introducing to me orchard road, its been a great time for me learning about it in a funny way, if you know what i mean. i wont see any of u all before the alevels, so i wish u all the very best for the alevels, study hard, and really this is our last chance to get as much work done, before we go pass the siever. The siever is somethign that will differentiate the best from the good. we dont want to be those left behind. we all want to achieve our dreams. for ppl like me who havent decide what he is goign to do when he grows up, at least do well for the alevels, get into uni, then see what one has taste for. if i ever see any of you all, haha, which is probably very unlikely, then i confirm will SUAN U, LAUGH AT U, POKE U and TALK TO U. haha for the very last time before the alevels. haha . so i u see me today, tmr, the day after....etc. until mon. u shld feel very blessed that you will get HAPPY STUDYING GENES. ( studying in a happy way, impossible, some of you might think how can you study and be happy at the same time? well they seem to contradict one another. haha. if u study with me, then u will understand. )

PS: lets all mug mug mug. when the going gets tough we know we have one another to rely on, cheer each other up with a simple sms....or just laughing at oneself!!! haha cya guys soon....and girls too.

decision time

if u make yr decision base of on yr gut feeling. go for it . cos yr gut feelign its always correct. somtimes if u think over a matter too much , it would impair yr judgement, and you may make the wrong decision. u really have to go with yr first gut feeling. if i am to go with my very decision i noe it will be the one that i will be happy with. there is so much stuff for me to do before the alevels, and i hope i manage to do everything i want.

have you all played a game called scenarios. i discovered it last week. its a very interesting game , that really has you thinking. its something like u stand infront of the mirror, then u ask the mirror a qn, then the mirror will ask u back a qn, its somthing like interview style. yah, it sounds very stupid. haha. cos i am retarded.

and finally last thing before i go mug. there are certain stuff in our world which is very complex and hard to understand. it can be confusing and hard to comprehend. however, if u think carefully, im very sure that u will make the right decision. cos i am very sure i will make the rite decision.!!!

screamo..

bands u shld bloody hear: alesana.....blessthefall.....escapethefate....trivium.......

this 4 are probably the best 4 freakign screamo bands out there.
those of u who noe me.u noe alesana its everything to me man. their music , their lyrics...those meaning ..they are just lyrical geniuses...hahah crystal clear!!!( onli toilet and wikipedia noe wad im tokign abt...the song i wrote...sian...toilet dun want sing)

well..for those out there who need something unique...ask me... i recomend u system of a down.they are jsut weird music..but its damnnice..
of cos there is alwasy a7x..but dun listen the new stuff...the waking the fallen album .tat is da best album. it could be probably one of the greatest albums in the world!. haha

well..i just love screamo music.when i study and i need tat extra boost.i dun need coffee..all i need is my screamo music. my troat sucks now thnx to a7x concert. oh yah...watch the movie called" the strangers" it is bloody scary...its some true story..so the ending sucks..but the plot..omg..its freaking scared the shit out of me. go catch it.

k...i shall go narnia and listen screamo. rmb.... when u r emo..alesana will be there for u.



I toss and turn and lie awake... it torments me, I must know whyIt just seems too easy... what is beyond that door?As I take a step back I wonder could I go on and turn the key?
Look away! Turn away! I should remember nothing is what it seemsFor once in my life I will resist... temptation hasCome alive again! When all is said and done I may not be able to move onIf I don't know what lies beyondDesire is now the one in controlAm I strong enough to not ever know what I'd find?Should I press on?..........

amrY!!!!!!1

army date: 13 april 1030 am....sian so long. i probably have to go work. if any of u guys got recomendations tell me!!! haah i hope i dun scare customers away with my screaming. but all my gd guy friends all go so early. wtf. im left all alone. nah. nvm got my gd girl friends still. haha. aniway, guys haha when u all go bmt..come back rite..must tell me wad to look out for. haha. i think i go army damn funny. cos i sure suan ppl., and damn lame. haha but at least i can be gay. haha can touch ppl everyday!!! jk. erm but i hope tat before i go army. i relax as much as i can. i probably go jogging every morning so that can prepare my self. i dont want to be those extras who gungho....do everythign must be first. haha.

aniway, i shall stop toking about psychology stuff. cos its damn confusing and i dont noe wad im writing also. haha. but if u noe rite. u shld understand wad i meant .haha. like tat means u quite zhai..cos i dont noe wad i mean. haha aniway. i not going to cut my hair damn short. probably trim it...hopefully, can grow quite long,,, and can be damn emo!!!

PS: i am almost sure what im going to do after alevels. haha. you never know how funny life is . somethings are meant to be, and even if you are aware of it, when u realise it, u still are shock. hahaah. im just speaking rubbish

hope

yesterday was the best day of my life. i got to watch avenged sevenfold. well. apart from seeing m shadows screaming, the memorable part was me almost dying. it was freaking crazy. seeng so many peopel fainting, and having the bouncer to pull them out of the mosh pit. i lost my contact with cutter haha. but the experience nevertherless was unbeleivable. to cap it off. i was hapy that im 80% sure. haha

yah. HOPE. its a word that i learnt yesterday. hope that it comes true.; hope that i be happy in my life in the future. what ever decision i make. im am sure now that it will be the correct one. i have been thinking it for the last few days, and thinking about diferent scenarios. perhaps, one day when i finally make the decision, i am sure most of you will agree with me that i made the right one. if you are shock at what i might do in the future, just know that i considered all the factors and who i will affect the most.

for now i wait for another month. when that months over, and im free. i will reconsider again. i dont want to hurt anyone physically, mentally, emotionally. but 80% is confirm i will make the decision. so i shall just wait and pray. haha. hope u understand what im saying.

what do u realli want

im sorry.

i feel bad that i dont tell you guys what is happening to me, but with the alevels coming, i just want you all to concentrate on your studies, its not affecting me in any way, so dont worry too much. i promise you guys, once i get over it, i tell you all k! haha.

today we talk about what do u really want? in our short lif eone earth, waht do u really want? is there something u want to have? is there something that you have thought of having? my advice, go for it. follow waht your heart tells you to do. dont let other people affect what your midnset is. with fate and impact....comes your decision. youhave to make that decision. you evaluate all possible scenarios and if you realise that you will be happy with your decision, then go for it! Rmb, happiness is most important. if you make that decision and you realise that it may hurt thosearoudn you, then dont make it. but if that decision makes everyonehappy.

PS: once again, sorry if my blog has become very irritating to read, dont worry u all will be able to piece this missing pieces eventually. its only a matter of time. and hopefully by that time i have decided what to do....enjoy mugging

this is wierd

my life is abit wierd. well perhaps thats the reason why i am weird. but the point is that there are some stuff in my life that are very hard to comprehend. i could spend a whole day tellign you everything that happened in my jc life. and i still wont be able to tell finish. some of you know most of it. well most of it anyway. there are some stuff, that perhaps next year then i tell you guys. haha. for now we got the alevels.

haha. but although the alevels is coming fast. i am still goign to avenged sevenfold concert this friday, and while i am busy studying everyday, i am damn lucky to be able to distress at night by thinking about stuff. like werid stuff. haha. its my way of distressing.

everytime i think about it, i cant believe how weird i am thinking about weird stuff. few days ago, ii thought of fate, now i think of impact. yes impact.

have u ever not made a decision because u feared the impact. you feared that if u made that decision that imapact will have severe repercutions, and create a catasrophe that u yrself have no idea how to solve. i dont want to make the wrong decision, if not i will create an impact that i will hate myself for deciding.

somehow i got a feeling that its a matter of time before i come to a conclusion. i have to face this challenge my self. i dont want to affect othere people. its a internal problem. its one that i will tell you guys eventually. haha. if you understand what im talking about means u damn ZHAI! and that u eat smarties everyday. haha for now. i need to find out more about myself first. i made the mistake once. i will not make the same mistake again.

haha . no matter what the outcome of the decision, i feel that i dont really lose anything, i only stand to gain. so if u have no idea what im sayig,. thats because i like talking about this kind of psychological stuff, which pisses people off when they read it, cos there are so many inferential meanings. haha.

PS: dont worry if you dont know what's happening to me. nobody knows. perhaps , only one person. my alterego. the one that stares back at me in the mirror. after all we are all optical isomers. there is always a reflection of us.

wad am i saying?

i was thinking about something for a damn long. what if the one thing u promiose wont happen may happen i n real life. for instance, like u promise never to immigrate overseas, but what if it happens. fate. u cant control some things. if it is meant to happen. watch final destiantion and u noe. u cannot cheat death. its yr fate. what if the one thing that u never thought of may happen. what if the world ends today and you are the last person on earth, then do u finally cherish something? hmm. its an interestign qn, that i like thinking about. the possibilities. the extreme side. what if someone backstabs u in the future, will u forgive that person? will u wipe out all the past memories with that person because he did soemthing to u. what if u end up backstabbing yr clsoe friends, do u expect yr friend to understand.

back to that qn. fate. it really is a huge qn. its a new area for research. if the gods already lay the path for u. will u be able to creat yr own path and diverge away from it? is it possible? i feel that there is always a limit to how much u can stray away from fact. i spend the whole night thinking. fate. those 4 letter word startign with F. it can so bloody drive u crazy. im a very foresighting person. i like to see imagine tthe implications of my actions and imagine stuff that may happen in the past. the more extreme they are the more unique it is.

now. i think u barely kno what im talkig about. i also dunno. BASICALLY<>

PS: if u noe wad im talkign about, then u noe wad i mean, but if u dun noe, no need scratching yr heads about it, cos i dun noe wad im talking about as well.

time to blog

i havent blog for quite some time. beeing spending alot of time with my friends. studying at lido. then at mc'cafe. well its great when i have that nucleus of friends. these are the very ssame people who i used to not have gut to talk to. i barely talk to them, in fact i barely spoke more than 50 words to a classgirl in j1. now i speak on average like more than 200.. actually alot.. cannot count. well wad change? hmm , its all thnx to a change of seating arrangement. if not for that i will still hang out with my 2 gd buddys from j1. well we really made alot of noise at the back of the classs back then, and we all change since then. actually. maybe onli i change. i change so much that i am certain my first intake classmates wont believe the change i went through. people change, and for some, they become worst. but for me i liek to think that i change for the better. from an average joe in the clas i sort of became more incharge of stuff, and interacted with the whole class. i made a deep impression on the teachers and my classmates. im an damn crazy person, but those who are close to me know that there is a different side of me. a side of me that cares for you guys. i want my friends to always be happy, i dont want to see those sad faces. i want my friends to know that if there is someone who can cheer them up when they are down, there is always me.

PS: we are going to graduate liao...but wait ....once tats over..we goign to go for outings after outings..dun worry i make sure i make a damn freaking gd plans......and got class chalet which i plan with my gd fren.1!! for now....listen to screamo(escape the fate-the flodd) watch concert( avenged sevenfold oct24, i be the freaking happiest guy on that day) and study( i can eithere study with u guys...peer pressure..or go narnia..where i have so much fun )

i dont want to die yet

I LOVE EMO.

its wad definies who i am and who i want to be when i grow up. i want to be one of those of guys on the stage . screaming my lungs out to all the preety girls and boys. tearing my heart out of my body as i scream and scream. i want to have long sexy hair. i want to be able to see a mosh pit infront of me.i want to jump into the crowd. i want to feel the touch of my fans. to see into each of their eyes. to feel them grobing my every signle part of a body.

well thats my dream.....

back to reality. what is life? i wont lie that i never tot of ending my life before. before coming to jc. my life suck. all i did was study and study. i had so many bloody tution, there were times where i had 3 tuition a day. i slept at 6pm, woke up at 6am. even before the sun set i was sleeping, my life was screwed up. i didnt have any of those playstation , gameboy or computer games. the game i played was " homework" . there was a part of me during those times that really wanted to end my life. i even thought of how i shall end my life. i didnt care what would happen to my friends. i really was a damn emo guy.

but now...
life has come full circle for me. i love the way my life is at the moment. but the thing that i find quite intriguing is that i am not afraid of death. if i was to die today, i really dont mind, because i feel that i am happy. i know that i would hurt alot of ppl with my death, but if i do go, i really jsut want those people to be happy. of cause , i am not stupid enough to do that, i am educated, i still want to have my own family, i want to see my best friends get married, i want to see my classsmates when they are old, i want to enjoy the fruit of my success..

i know this post damn emo. but i jsut want to tell u all. enjoy yr life to the fullest. you maybe thinking that you are going throught a rough patch. where nothign is going right in yr life. you may even think of ending it. i am glad i never did it. god is fair. bleive in god, and you will be rewarded, i am at the stage of my life where i feel that i have to make a choice whether to be that emo guy or that retarded guy. i decided, i shall be the combination of both.

rest in peace my dark hatred suicidal emo part....rebirth of my retardness....

WHAT !!!!!

WHY DO I BEHAVE LIKE THIS. TODAY I GOT SCOLDED AGAIN. AND I REALLY BLAME MYSELF. SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY I DO WHAT I DO. MAYBE MY BODY GOT PROBLEM. I CANT CONTROL MY LIMBS. THERE ARE REALLY TIMES THAT I HATE MYSELF. I HATE THAT I DO RETARDED STUFF. I HATE THAT I AM SO BLOODY RETAREDED.

at least, i am still ok studywise . i just have to be that conman and continue mugging. i just hope i dont get distracted during the next crucial months and that i jsut continue on that express train. i just hope it has enough fuel to last until the end of alevels.

after alevels, ijsut want to slack. my close friends u ppl can stay over at my house...maybe chalet??? haha i dont know. more outings. i just cant wait for alevels to pass. k tats all. life for me is now on a see saw or maybe a swing. i dont really know if i really am a human?