A RANDOM EMO POST ..BACK ON THE EXPRESS TRAIN

im so emo. cus im random. so im randomly emo. im typing nonsense. im going crazy. RAWRRRRR!

TIME PASSES BY, AND WE ARE STILL SITTING HERE. I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING WITH MY LIFE AT THE MOMENT. SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY I EVEN COME TO SCHOOL FOR. ITS LIKE I AM JUST WASTING TIME INSTEAD OF MUGGING AT HOME. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I JUST LOSE CONTROL OF MYSELF. I JUST GO INTO RETARDED MOOD. I CANT CONTROL IT. PEOPLE SAY ITS FAKE, BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT I REALLY CANNOT CONTROL IT. ITS LIKE I AM A ROBOT, AND SOMEONE IS CONTROLLING ME.

AT LEAST LIFE FOR ME NOW IS MUCH BETTER. I DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE PROBLEM THAT WAS BUGGING ME FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS. ALL TEH PROBLEMS SEEM TO HAVE EVAPORATED, NOW I AM SO FREE OF THE CHAINS. ITS LIKE I JSUT WALK OUT OF PRISON, EVEYTHING IS NEW FOR ME. I MADE NEW FRIENDS, AND THERE ARE SOME WHOM I LOST TOUCH WITH, BUT WHAT MATTERS MOST IS THAT IM HAPPY. I DOT WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT EMO GUY I WAS IN THE PAST. IT HURT ME BOTH MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY. MY CLOSEST FRIENDS KNOW WHAT IM TALKIGN ABOUT. SOME SAY ITS FAMILY PROBLEMS, BUT THE TRUE CLOSE ONES KINWO WHAT MY PROBLEM THAT WAS BUGIGNG ME WAS.

NOW LIFE FOR ME MEANS PASSING MY ALEVELS. NOW THE EXPRESS TRAIN HAS STARTED MOVING AGAIN, THE OBSTACLE THAT WAS ONCE BLOCKING MY PATH WAS REMOVED AND NOW I AN FREE FROM ALL MY TROUBLES. I PRAY TO THE LORD THAT THEY DO NOT COME BACK. ITS GREAT TO BE FREE FROM THOSE CHAINS. I WANT IT RTO REMAIN THAT WAY.

my usual frens

i havent realli had the time to blog . but under request from naggy, i shall blog. life for me is much better now. i dun feel any pressure already. it seems like i am a train sto, the express train has critical damping, and i now am at a station, jsut hanging out and chillign out with my friends.

i think on the last day of sch, i may cry. i am a damn emotional guy . and while in j1 i didnt realli hang out much, more of aloner. my j2 life more than made up for it. i just feel that i will miss alot of ppl.

naggy: shes the best seating partner i ever had, its like she likes to nag, but she is a very caring and concerned person. there are times where i do stupdi stuff, and she is there to tell me not to go over my limits. and she can handle my retardness. i dun noe if i every find a beter seating partner than naggy, maybe never.

sleep: the 2 of us plan so many outings and bday. haha. we ahve a lot of things in common. if u noe wad i mean. and u also can handle my retardness. i noe soemtime i cos havock!! but i hope i managed to enteraint u guys, and make yr jc life exciting and memorable.

to write love on his arms: well u r the most fun and crazy girl i ever met. like u do stuff that onli crazy ppl do. rmb " stone" . haha. and not forgetting messing up yr hair and plucking up yr white hair! and the i miss u video!! haha. alot of memories. thnx for making fun crazy!

emo: u r jsut the best fren i ever had. i noe that i would never forget a fren like u. thank u for everything u did for me. haha.. i dun noe wad to say. but u noe i thank u how many times. k onli thing is that u rmb all the retarded stuff like BECAUSE AH and the friendly stuff.

tight: well, my secret sharing session fren. haha. u been a great person to me. with trying to punch me and all the holy stuff. haha. i confirm will never forget u, especially after u taught me how to paly the guitar. sorri i ransack yr room. but i realli wanted to find it.. haha i feel bad. aniway i not going to kill the 100 children

UAE 76,: u r damn smart. thats all i have to say. u study and study. and do so well. really, i think u go to the wrong sch. haha. i think i cahnge my impression of u from a nerd to a funny person. haha. there r times u r damn funny. and hopefully i dun drive u crazy with my retardness. and sorri if i hurt u in the past!

toilet: my toilet fren, wad do i do without u. eveyrtiem we go toilet, we stare at each other. haha. and u always spit be4 u pee. wtf. never will forget u. probably the most punk rocker. but u liek underoath. and one of the few ppl who i noe likes screaming! so thank u very much!

wikipedia: u r too smart! u help me with this blog , even though i cannot follow instructions. u reallis houdl be workign at apple, then i could have gotten a discount! aniway. follow yr dream. u noe wad i mean. and hope u like the bday present!

protein: can i touch u. haha. u r a damn touchy person. sorri i always touch u in class, but u noe im not gay. dun ber so vulgar, very bad, and hope u get the GIRL of yr dreams..haha u neo who i referign too. i promise i wun touch. and get yr nano soon. i noe u deserve it, after waitign so long.

smurf: my lame friend. sometiems i realli dun noe wad to say to u. u can realli drive me crazy. but u r damn funny. and got alot of funny incidents. lol. i wil not forget them. esp one incident! haha. aniway, keep up with yr lameness. i think it makes u very funny, although dun be too lame.

jynx: well, i onli got to noe u well jsut recently, but u seem quite a jynxing person. in sucha short span of time, u jynx me with so many stuff, from the ipod, to tacklig me in soccer....too many. aniway. hope u like screamo and gd that u got back a new ipod. hopefully, i dun kanna jynx by u animore!

thank u guys

TOday , i got a surprise when dmy best fren passed me an envelope. inside were 3 photos. one from best fren one from click5, and one from usual gang. it was realli nice of u guys to write for me. i was intially quite emo for some time, but i know that next time when i emo , i jsut have to read what you guys wrote about me. i feel very blessed to have such friends. i feel that u guys realli make my jc life intersting, i am only able to be my normal self when im around u guys, as u all know me well.

i noe after the gp results today, eveyrone damn emo, i also very emo. but im sure u all can make it through for alevels. dont worry, if u need problem cheering up, im always there.

THank YOu:
EMO
tight
to write love on her arms
protein
toilet
wikipedia
UAE 76
naggy
blur
jynx
sleepy

thank u for wad u have done. tmr i ask wikipedia help me fix the stupdi tagboard again1!!!

thank u girls....

Friends. I have many great friends. But surprisingly, my best fren is a girl, and majority of my gd frens are girls. So here is a testimonial to how thankful I am to them. I will not tell their name, but im sure my gd friends will know I am talking about them.

EMO: Shes is the one person who I have to thank for making my jc life such a wonderful time. there are times where I am just piss or damn emo, then emo somehow has a way of putting back that smile on my face. We have similar taste, and thus I am able to relate her well, and thankfully I found a best friend in her. I certainly cherish our friendship, and I don’t want it to ever end!

NAGGY: by the name, u can probably tell who she is. She maybe naggy, but she is really a very helpful and kind person. Being the messy person I am, there are times where I don’t really know where my stuff is, and NAGGY will help me find my stuff. She sometimes does my job as maths rep because I sux at it. So although she is naggy, she really is a great friend who helps me when I am in need of help.

TIGHT: My secret sharign friend, she is the one I know can be trusted with my secrets and someone who although she likes to PS, she is very helpful in helping me plan events. So thank you tight fren. Furthermore, she taught me how to play guitar, something I am very grateful for, and she tends to come out with weird stuff. So thank you my tight fren.

BLUR: well, she is probably the most blur person I ever met, but she is also a damn fun person to talk to. She is damn lame, so I am able to talk to her about lame stuff, and she never fails to make me laugh with her blurness. Thank you for being such a blur friend, who always manages to make ppl laugh.

TO WRITE LOVE ON HIS ARMS: well my fellow crazy friend, who does some of the most stupidest actions but is very funny. She is the leader of the girls , so thank you for helping me organize events. Also, thanks for making lesson so interesting with our chee hong stuff and yr random stuff.

UAE 76: the most smartest person in the class, well she is just to smart. But thanks for being so smart, that makes me motivate to study hard and beat you! And thanks for tolerating my madness and my craziness in class everyday.

JYNX: The person who never fails to jynx me with injuries and badluck. But thank you for making jc life interesting with jinxing. And for being able to discuss tennis and enjoy my kind of music(well to a certain degree), finally thanks for being such a friendly and STAREING person.

so after this 2 years. i have come to a conclusion. go out and find a girl to be your best fren. i feel bless that i have the most understanding, trustful, fun and smart best fren. i know i can count on her if i am in need of help. NOt forgetting my other close friends who make my cjc life such memorable. thnx to u all.

i am emo

I am very sad after i had a damns cary dream last night. it was about our class gathering 4 weeks after the end of the alevels. when we meet everything had changed. i had drifted away from the class, to the extent that i never talk to some of the class especially my best fren.i was damn emo. the whole night i cant sleep. then i was told that a girl like me in our class, one of my classmate not ending up with someone i had expevted to end up with, and where my best fren CHANGED. i am damn emo. i cant sleep. why does my dreams get more scary. every night, they get more scary, i dont want to sleep, its like if everything is about scary stuff. its either about the girl or about my sadness.. why? i dont know what to do. i jsut want to have those happy dreams, but it is not happening to me.

then yestersday, i want buy the new ipod touch, but only got 8gb and 16gb, no 32gb. i waited for 1 year, and was pumped up to buy it. but dont have still. it really made me damn emo, at least i maaged to concentrate durign night study. but at night, before i sleep, one of the my classmates told me that she damn piss with her bro. that like he download virus until the com spoil, then she has to go home fix it. then her parents dont want care abotu them becasue they thinking aobut the aia insurance already. it sux when yr bro is so sucky. well i hope she gets happier..

after last night dream, i decided that i am not goign to drift away from my friends. i cannot imagiin how my life would change the day i depart from tehm all. its like losing a limb. i just cant imagine. why does it have to end like this. i dont care, if after alevel and got no outing, i organise. i dont want to not talk to my best friiends and then dont see tehm fro a very long time.

i am very sad and emo. i feel sorri for one of my classmate, but even more sad about that dream last night. but at least the dream answered one of the questions taht was bugging me for a very long time. now.. i shall try to get over the sadness, maybe go out and buy an ipod touch, and be happy.

HAPPINESS

I JUST GOT BACK SOME OF MY PRELIM RESULTS, AND I AM QUITE HAPPY, EVERYTHING IS GOING RIGHT FOR ME NOW. BOTH EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY. I JSUT FEEL SO HAPPY NOW. ITS LIKE I HAVE FOUDN THAT MISSING PIECE TO FIT INTO THE JIGSAW PUZZLE. I JSU WANT TO THANK MY CLOSEST FRIENDS FOR HELPING ME THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT PERIOD,I JSUT WANT THEM TO KNOW I APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE THING YOU GUYS DID FOR ME. I AM VERY GRATEFUL. I DONT KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE MADE IT THROUGH WITHOUT U GUYS HELP!!! SO THNX ALOT.I AM SO HAPPY...THE USUAL BRENDON...AKA.. THE CRAZY RETARDED LAME NONESNESE DUDE HAS RETURN IN A LESS EMO PACKAGE.

I AM SO HAPPY NOW

The last few days i jsut feel so happy. its like all my worries are gone. its great to have so many friends. there are times when i am damn emo, but the moment when i am with my friends, i turn on the high button, and suddenly i am happy! these friends are like brothers and sisters. they know i am crazy, yet they are able to handle me. its like i am now so different in attitude comapred to last week, where i was damn emo. perhaps, i have move swings. i just hope thigs will stay this way, the way it has always been. but u never know, life is up and down, and i hope that no matter what thsoe friends of mine will stick with me! i kow they will!.

LIFE ROCKS FOR ME AT THE MOMENT. I HAVE THE BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD. 2 OF THE BEST GD FRENS. AND A WHOLE REST OF GREAT USUAL FRIENDS. EVERYTHING IS GOING RIGHT FOR ME AT THE MOMENT, I AM ON A EXPRESS TRAIN THAT WILL NOT STOP UNTIL ALEVELS IS OVER, I SHALL PERSERVERE, AND STAY ON THIS TRAIN, AND HOPEFULLY LIFE AFTER THE ALEVEL WILL BE MUCH BETTER.

I FEEL MUCH BETTER

WITH THE PRELIMS ALL OVER, I FEEL A HUGE LIFT OF MY SHOULDERS. LIKE ALL MY BURDENS WERE WASHED AWAY. ESPECAILLY AFTER HAVING A HELL OF A TIME WITH MY FRIENDS. BUT WHILE I FELT BETTER, NEW QUESTIONS AROSE AGAIN. Y!!! I DONT UNDERSTAND, I HAD THOUGHT THAT PERHAPS ALL WIL COME GOOD AGAIN, BUT IT MADE ME EVEN MORE INTRIGUED. WHY IS IT HAPPENNING TO ME.

SOMETIMES I WONDER WHETHER EVEYRTHING IS A TEST, WHERE EVERYACTION I DO IS WATCHED BY THE VIEWERS AND JUDGE BY PEOPLE. BUT WHENEVER I POUR OUT MY SORROW TO MY FRIENDS, I FEEL MUCH BETTER, BUT THEN SOMETHING HAPPPENS AND I FEEL CONFUSED

I AM SO CONFUSE NOW. ALEVEL IS COMING SOON. I WANT TO SOLVE THS PROBLEM BEFORE IT COMES. I AM GOING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM, BECAUSE IT IS SLOWLY KILLING ME FROM THE INSIDE, I AM LIKE AN VOLCANO ABOUT TO ERUPT, AND WHEN I DO, I WANT TO DO SO KNOWING THAT I HAVE SOLVED THE ROBLEM.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME PART 2

WE ALL COME TO A POINT IN OUR LIVES WHERE WE CONSIDER WHY WE WERE BROUGHT TO HTIS WORLD. TO BRING JOY TO PEOPLE LIVES, TO EARN AS MUCH MONEY, TO EXPERIENCE THE JOY OF LOVE, FAMILY AND DEATH. I AM NOW AT A POINT WHERE I AM IN A CROSSROADS. I DONT KNOW WHAT I SHOULD. IT SEEMS LIKE A MINOR PROBLEM, BUT IT HAS ESCALATED INTO SOMEHTING INCOMPREHENSIBLE. ITS LIKE A SNOWBALL EFFECT. ONCE I THOUGHT IT HAS DIED DOWN, IT REAPPEARS AGAIN. I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER. I KNOW SOMETHINGS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE. LIKE FLYING, OR LIVING IN SPACE. YES EVENTUALLY IT COULD BE POSSIBLE, BUT I DONT THINK I WOULD WANT TO RISK IT.

THIS PROBLEM IS MAYBE MY FAULT. IM ATTENTION SEEKER WHO HAS ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER, I NEED THE ATTENTION, ITS WHAT DRIVES ME EVERYDAY. IT FUELS MY DESIRE TO CONTINUE LIVING. ITS A PART OF ME THAT I CANT NOT HAVE. PERHAPS THATS WHY. BUT I KNOW THAT SOMETIMES I AM TOO MUCH ATTENTION SEEKING. I HAVE GREAT FRIENDS, SOME WHOM I POUR OUT MY SORROW TO, BUT THEY HAVE WARNED ME OF THE IMPLICATIONS THAT I AM DOING. THAT I AM SENDING OUT A WRONG IDEA. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I AM AT WITS END. I WANT IT TO ALL END. WHY CANT EVERYTHING BE SIMPLY BE SOLVED BYA YES OR NO QN. WHY!!! BUT I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER. THIS FREAKIGN DILEMIA IS DRIVING ME CRAZY. I AM AT THE EDGE OF A CLIFT, HOLDING TO A BARE ROPE, ANY MOMENT I MAY JUST SLIP AND EVERYTHING MAY BE GONE, ALL THE PROBLEMS SOLVED. BUT I CHERISH LIVE. I MAY BE EMO, BUT I KNOW I HAVE AGOOD FRIENDS WHO I KNOW WILL BE THERE WHEN I NEED HELP. IN THIS WORLD WHERE TURE FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK, I FEEL LUCKY. I FEEL BLESSED. I FEEL I HAVE ALL THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, TO CARRY ON, TO PERSERVERE, AGAINST ALL ODDS.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME 1

MY NAME IS BRENDON AND I AM A VERY EMOTIONAL GUY. THIS BLOG IS FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. SOME OF YOU MAY NOT HAVE ANY BLOODY IDEA WHAT I AM SAYING AND MAY EVEN THINK THAT I AM MAKING UP EVERYTHING . BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT THIS IS WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.

MY JC LIFE IS SOMETHING THAT I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER , FOR THE RIGHT AND WRONG REASONS. THERE ARE MANY MEMORABLE OCCASIONS . BUT THERE IS SOMETHING THAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING TO ME THAT I CANT BELIEVE IT, ALL MY FRIENDS KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, BUT I JSUT PRETEND IT IS HAPPENING. I TRY TO THINK THAT WHAT THEY ARE SMAYBE AN OVERREACTION. BUT AS TIME PASSES BY, IT JUST SEEMS TO BE TRUE. EVERY SINGLE ACTION HAS MADE ME EVEN MORE SUSPICIOUS. I DUN NOE WHAT TO DO. I AM AT MY WITTS END. I CERTAINLY DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING FOOLISH. I VALUE FRIENDSHIP, AND THUS I KNOW THE SEVERE IMPLICATIONS OF WHAT I WOULD DO WOULD CAUSED

LIFE IS SHORT AND WE GOT TO MAKE FULL USE OF IT. BUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME IN JUST 2 MONTHS IS CERTAINLY TOO FAST FOR ME TO HANDLE. ITS LIKE I AM ON A EXPRESS TRAIN AND ALL THAT IS HAPPENING TO ME IS JUST A BLUR PICTURE. I KNOW THAT IT IS TRUE ALREADY. BUT I BEG TO DIFFER. I WANT TO THINK THAT IT IS NOT TRUE. YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO REVEAL ANY NAMES ALL GIVE AWAY ANY CLUE TO WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.

I JUST WANT IT ALL TO END. IF THE BIG BLACK HOLE WAS TO COME AND KILLS ALL, IT IS THE ONE QUESTION THAT I WANT TO BE ANSWERED. IS WHAT ME AND MY FREINDS CORRECT? HAVE WE GUESS CORRECTLY. OR HAVE WE ALL MADE A HUGE MISTAKE.


THATS ALL I AM GOING TO SAY. ITS A SLOW AND BORING START. I TRY TO WRIT MORE OFTEN, BUT HIPEFULLY THE PROBLEM IS SOLVED QUICKLY. TO MANY STUFF HAVE HAPPEN. TO LITTLE TIME FOR ME TO HANDLE IT. IF NOT FOR MY FRIENDS I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.
Mood: depressed