I don't want to be a pet

10 buck that's all I'm betting on soccer . They call it e beginners luck , I'm just taking it as a goals. Soccer has become e nicotine that fuels my daily activities. The wife who never abandon me. The child who will always love me. Is it possible to love someone as much as I love soccer? It's a qn to ponder. When I'm sad she's there for me, infact I spent the happiest and most demoralized moments with her. Oh well what would ido wihout you soccer .

It's counting down soon. I can feelthat the gates to freedom is getting closer and closer. I already have the key, just need to quickly get pass all the obstacle to finally be released into this new world. A world which I had not been able to enjoy with the freedom I wish I could. Now I'm a dog on a leach, but come feb, my owner will get a new dog and I be free

no longer e sad boy. More of e confused boy.

A moment to ponder

Life is too short to make e same mistake again. If there is one thing I have learned is that. Sometimes u make a mistake and u regret making it because of the repercussions of it, yet as time pass by you feel yourself about to make a decision, knowing that the consequence of that decision could result in youregretting it all over again!

I feel that there is a few times in your life where u have to pause and consider how your life is at the moment. I feel I'm at one of those crossjunctions, where each path I take may take me to places which I might want to be, but I neve know if I ever will be satisfied with the end !

It's another thought for a day. Why do I make my life so confusing? Why do I make things so hard for myself! I need help!

Almost got bang down by a car this moment, i don't know why I didn't feel afraid or scared. E moment where u c yr life flash infrong of u has yet to happen to me, n if I does happen soon, I know I b happy with it. I have led a life full of regrets butnone with even more happiness

Bird trapt in a cage

Guys like you make us look bad
Have we become such suckers now that a good guy has become a rarity? Girls now despise the mordern gentleman, infact guys no longer are like those potrayed in movies. Where r the Edward cullens of this modern age??? I guess when my time comes to go uni , I have to overcome the stereotypes that those girls have of us guys.
Well, I'm just saying this cause there it hurts when I see girls being abuse by their bf and I ask myself despite the childish and crazy person I am sure I wouldn't do it.

On a side note, it seems everyday the clock is ticking slower and slower... You know the feeling of just rotting away? That's how I feel now. I wake up and go to sleep, what I do durig those hours are unimportant it's like I'm a bird trapt in the cage. Only set free come feb next yr. It's driving me mentally insane. I don know how ppl can do this for a lifetime. Yr daily movements dictated by the higherups. Can younlibe with this kin of dictatorship life. I for certain can't. I'm just trying to watch as much tv series just to Essen the pain, but like scars, they will always be there no matter how much makeup u put.

My frens are now on holiday and r looking for jobs. And it makes me think abt my future when I
set free from this cage. Will I be able to survive in a world where I have to hunt for my own food and face the cuttroat civilisation and the backstab corporate companies? Along with the intricate low lifes and the corrupted world? I don't know. But I guess I just live each day, I nvr know when my time will come, and if I have to go so be it, everybody js to accept the fact. Appreciate what's happen to you and just move on.

Y unlovely my fruits

Life is a bore. What am I doing here On a sat night??? Perhaps it's time for me to reflect on life

had pretty alot of regrets in life but if I had a choice i would have not made one of it. It ruined my friendship and i lost a great close friend. I ask myself why it can't work now? And I don't have the answer. Somehow this mental block has prevented me from improving the friendship. I gt 8 moths left, if there is one thing I hope is that thing would ease up, and things between us would be like the past even if 10% of it, it's still mug better than nw.

On a brighter side I gaine 2 friends whom have been great to me. Sometimes too much time with guys can turn u gay and it's good to go out with girls sometimes so that it adjust yr moral compas. She's been there for me for abt 2 years now, she probably knows me better thn my parents, she knows what I'm thinking. At the same time she knows pretty much what has happened to me last yr. Sometimes I'm just dmn bored so I disturb her, oh well at least she doesn't mind. Every guy needs some good girl friends because u nvr know when a girl opinon could e useful and helpful. I'm so gratefulti have her as a friend, haha. And I promise u that next yr I make sure yr bday will be much better than this yr which I kind of screw up... Oh well

then there is the other person too. When most of the ppl are too busy or too lazy to come out at least she does. Thanks for the meals and the movies!!! And although sometimes u r damn late at least u still make yrself free. Our friendship has gone throughaomw turbulent times in the past but like my above friend u 2 have just become such great friends to me!!! That's why I don't mind sponsoring popcorn and ice lemon tea, getting bullied by u 2, cos yr fiendship is worth more than that.

Finally there's my friend whom I rarely see these days, and we might not be as close as in e past but u will still be regarded as one of my hood friends for the memories we shared last few years . I hope one day we be like the past where we did stupid stuff .

I got so many memores of u girls... Sometimes I ask myself how did. A shy guy who was never close to girls become the person he is today??? I guess sometimes u change in noticeably and I believe that when the time comes to look back at the past I will laugh at at moments we shared. From the stories we share in class, to the scandal I had, to the movies weahared, the food we indulged in, houses we stayed over at and the moments we shared tgt.

Thanks alot

I love u guys man!!!! Haha, oranges apples pears bannanas

I don't want to lose a thing

I'm counting the days alrdy... I cnnt take it anymore, this sucky life. To know that there are ppl who get the same as u, but who get to slack while getting paid... It realli sucks. When I finally am free I am so going to take a break... Prob just take up a new hobby , meet new ppl and just change my life drastically.

For nw my past is still my present. Nth much diff. It fails that I'm in a song played on repeat mode. Doing the same thing over n over again. I need smth to inject life back into me.

Have I become a diff person the last yr... I don't think so... I think I need an extreme makeover... My behaviour has gotten the better of me at times. Too crazy for my own good.

Sometimes I stare at myself and ask my purpose in life. Everyone is imprinted with certain aims in life. But my path is still blocked, I don't see the gold at the end of the path, instead the endless forsakenroute.

I lost many things in life, but I gained many too... But I don want to leave this tipsy turbulence life. If II had e choice I would want them to be there forever. Bu I can't. I know there's always a expiry date when the glue that holds us all tgt weakens and I will lose them. I just want to have them forever....

short entry . short time

4 weeks done. 4 weeks more to go. im halfway to my corporal rank(=more pay). probably the greatest achievement this week was my 2.4km. it really was to me a huge achievement. to cut down 1min for 2.4km running is almost impossible . but IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING. but i still missed by 3seconds. 3seconds faster and i would have earned myself $100. probably have to retake it. but i cnnt wait to redo it.but im motivated. next week will be tougher. but i have to endure onli 4 more weeks 4 more weeks and then i am free.

nights out is da best!!! macdonald. and.......realsiing that ppl watch harry potter alone one. quite sad...

i love my army life

ok...spacejam ask me blog so i blog. i love sispec. i love tat the ppl in my sispec bunk are ppl whom i knew, some who i had lived with for bmtc. they say that in army u really make real friends, cos u wake up and the first thing u see is yr army mates, and then u sleep at night also see them. i think its quite lucky tat we are all teh same bunk. its great. like now army is my second home, truthfully i dont really hate bookign in, we have lots of fun... like talkign about.....cheehong stuff hahah. yeah. and i think its quite lucky tat our bunk ppl are diff kind. and i think the freedom we have is great. and i really love my bunkmates...

i rmb the first day. me qiren smoker nick all of us came to camp for the first time. then we all kanna charlie..we all damn sad.but kanna same bunk..haha. damn shiok. at least there was no need for any orientation, we knew each other, but quite sad that smoker not same bunk as me, cos like he was one of themore closer ppl i had in bmt. yeah. but sispec life is so diff. alot to study , alot of test. but we all mug tgt. at night study. haha. so much study until we next morning damn tired, and if not for spacejam we wont wakes up. but we all hate him in the morn, cos he ons the light, damn bright.

by the end of sispec it will be 5 months tgt guys. and although i was MIA for 2 weeks, well after sispec i would have been through thick and thin with u all. and i think next time when we reflect about our sispec CHARLIE life, we all will be surprise how we managed to survived it. well there were sad moments during these 3 weeks, like YESTERDAY booking out, and failign TESTSSS....but there are great moments like chatting and slacking.

ppl liek david and gavin makes the bunk damn fun. gavin is really damn funny. i dont know why, but he is liek the BRYAN for me. hoepfully i dont laugh so much until i kanna att c again. but realli gavin is full of nonsence, but probably one of those who will make our mundane lifes exciting. while david is liek cute innocent guy, but he can be kunning, like calling me the next LSM!!! damn lucky i nvr kanna. while my buddy, ken. wow. mr baoke liao. he realli do eveyrthing. i nvr seen aguy so zhai be4. haha. qiren, stupid arsenal fan. ahah. but realli a nice guy, ( thanks for pushing me for soc,,,hahah. yr scary low voice pump me up). nick is like mr sleepy, nvr wake up in the morn one, everymorn lie in bed. then gt rocky. hahah. i dont know what to say about his marching....he simply doesnt beleive it. yeah. then gt smoker. quite sad he not same bunk as me, but well at leas tsame platoon. ahah.

yeah. hoepfully we all remain in contact next time. at least we can try. qiren, u know tat u will be incharge of planning outings next time. its only the 3rd week. but realli time flies and be4 u know , we will all be going our seperate ways. i miss u guys. haha. for now. we got field camps and chiong shua to go through, it will be exhausting and " shack" but at least we have each other right???